Reactions

I have been quite surprised at the reactions about this new change.  Especially those who are living here/from here/etc.  Nearly everyone has mentioned how hard it is to move to Texas. Hmm...interesting.  I can come up with about 1000 theories as to why.  But then maybe I just don't adapt well in trying situations.  Or maybe I was fighting this before it even happened.  I really was happy and excited about getting out of Las Vegas...but then maybe that was more of me guarding myself over how hard this was going to be in the first place.  I will be a busy, busy woman for the next few weeks. I cannot wait for things to settle down for a bit.

This is really happening...

And fast!

I have so much to do. We all have a lot to do in a very short amount of time.  There are preparations on both ends of this as well. Yesterday was a bit stressful because things weren't working out exactly how we had hoped/liked, but I think we have worked it all out now...at least I hope so.  There is always some anxiety that comes with big decisions, at least for me, but I just keep telling myself that in the long run its for the better.

Seven months almost always seems like a short time span, until now. After being separated from all the things we love and enjoy, its been the longest seven months. I am ready to feel at ease and to relax.  I realize now that I have been on edge in some way or form the entire time we have been here.  I need the break, that's for sure. 

We tried. We tried hard. But this just has not worked for us. Its not a good fit.  I feel somewhat guilty about that, but when you feel this awful deep down inside, there is no denying that we just do not belong in Dallas. Its not for our family. Its not even beneficial for our family. We need to be home.  And apparently, this is not home. 

Quickly changing

Who knew plans could change so quickly and feel so much better that way?! 

Plans to stagger out our return to Vegas are coming to fruition.  A few things are still sketchy, but its coming together currently.  There are still pros and cons to this decision, but in the long run and as a whole it will be for the better.

Now its all about figuring out all the little details and getting organized in 21 days....and GO!

6 months

Well we made it through Hallowe'en without family and friends.  Like I said to the husband last night, I am glad we won't be doing that again next year. 

And now marks our 6 months here.  It was all uphill to get here, let's hope its a fast roll downhill out of here.  There are some sketchy details waiting upon further evaluation of the situation back home, but there is absolute certainty that by the end of the next 6 months we will be leaving Texas.  And truly just the thought makes me happy.  The waiting is the hardest part.

A week's worth

of blogging to be done in one blog.  I am just not up to date on this and by the end of the night, I am completely forgetting about it.

Its basically the same ol' same ol' around here.  A few decisions will be made by the end of this month/beginning of next month on exactly how the rest of our "stay" here in Texas is going to play out.  We have some accessing to do about both our situation and how things are going on around back home.  I know no mater what that it is going to be hard to leave again after only a week or two visit. 

I am just now getting over what seems to have been the flu for nearly two weeks.  I need to get myself back into my daily routine.  I haven't exercised, cleaned much, or done really a lot of anything since getting sick and I'm all out of sorts.  Hopefully this week I can really get back into things. Its obvious around the house that I just haven't been able to focus on much around here.  That ends now because it'll start to stress me out soon.  I don't need that.

I miss...

Those two words always seem to bring on little sentences from my 4 year old's mouth that chip away at my heart.  His innocence is beautiful and I love the little things he comes up with each day.  But it hurts knowing how much he misses even the smallest, minor things about life back in Vegas.  His routine of life was turned upside down.  And while a normal kid would have a hard time with that to start with, a high needs child just can't process that the same.  Its even more earth shattering, heart breaking, and worrisome for a high needs child.  Make it two, in our case.  Today was one of those days.  Granted, over something very minute and not earth shattering, but still something he misses nonetheless.  So I started making countdown pages for him to see how long until things like his birthday, holidays, and projected possible visits home.  Hopefully this helps him look forward to the things that are coming up and the time until we are back in Vegas.  I know it will help me, too.  I just cannot wait to give some good, long hugs.  I already get choked up thinking about how we'll only have a short amount of time of a visit and have to leave again.  I really wish we could travel back and forth more often.  It would be much more helpful to everyone all around.  But for now, at least we have something to look forward to - - a visit sometime before Christmas.

Weekend is gone

Or almost. We are about to start into our 25th week here in Dallas. Thus far a total of 175 days.  And it won't be a moment too soon for me until we are back in Vegas for visiting.  I just need the break and the time back there to recuperate a bit.  I hope it will help us to feel a bit better about this move.  I know - - almost six months and here we are still not dealing well with it at all.  Its hard to not feel like we sold out and made the wrong choice, just for a paycheck.  But in all essence of the situation, I guess that is what we did.  That stings a bit.  I am not even sure where we stand on any of this because its just a blur most days.  We just are in the motions and not doing much else from day to day, week to week.  We do try to get out and we've seen new things.  But the "newness" and novelty of it all has worn off long ago.  I feel a bit like we are stuck in a Twilight Zone episode, for lack of a better comparison.  Nothing changes here, every thing is stagnant.  The neighborhood even feels somewhat like its Zone worthy.  I know I am exaggerating.  There is a lot that would help make things easier to transition, but we don't know anyone and don't really have ways to "make friends" either.  Its not like we can just go out all the time, since once again there isn't anyone to watch the boys. But we do what we can to at least make this bearable.  Next weekend should be a lot of fun and a good distraction with Halloween.  I hope it can be a fun one for the boys this year, as well.  Let's hope.