30 May, 2011

Where do I begin...

Yesterday was interesting. In a not so great, pretty cruddy way. I truly despise drama. Yet, it made its way around yesterday...with someone who not only loves dream but also gets pleasure from creating it,too. I will never understand the need. 

Needless to say, the person is cut out of my life. I realized how much this person couldn't careless about me or my family. Its all about them. Always has been.  I don't need someone like that and my children definitely deserve better than having to deal with that. And we are all the better for it.

I've never had a problem cutting ties in the past. If a person does not put in effort or show they care, they aren't worth my time.

On another note, I finally finished reading my current book this morning. Only 29 more to go. To reach my goal that is. Just another one of my 101 in 1001. I miss reading. So I feel like I am back in the habit of making time to read. Reading probably is in my top five most enjoyable things to do.  Now to find a new book.

Its been four weeks since the boys and I left Vegas. Its weird to think it has already been that long.  I need to get pictures of the boys printed to send to people back home.  I think I want to eventually buy my parents a webcam for skype. It would be nice to see them. The boys would love it, too.

Its so far been a relaxing holiday weekend.  Tomorrow will come too soon I am sure.

28 May, 2011

Purple

That is the color of the front of my hair now.  I love it. Its fun. I've always wanted fun colored hair and never able to do it because of work or was too afraid to do it as a kid. I think I'm hooked now. Its like tattoos and piercings; once you start, you want more. Its just my love of freedom of expression.  I am happy being me.

27 May, 2011

Lonely

That's how I'm feeling today.  Its starting to sink in that I haven't had any other in-person connections beyond my husband and my kids.  And while I love them with my entire being, I need other connections as well.  I don't feel like I quite fit in with the Mommies Network group that is here, as they are very small and all really close.  Besides, they are all in counties/cities north of us and I am not sure I'll ever be able to make it to one of their events.  I miss people dearly, but more so I am terrified of not making any friends the whole time we are here.  I get cabin fever REALLY bad, but right now its just a huge hassle trying to take the kids out during the day by myself. It took an hour just to get them out for a walk around the block.  I just wish there was someone I could just call to hang out with or plan a playdate for the kids....or something.  I don't really know how to meet people in a place that I don't even know. 

Maybe I just need to find a job asap...easiest way to get out of the house AND to meet people.  If only we had someone to watch the boys. 

24 May, 2011

Long night ahead

Weather has been a bit chaotic in the DFW metroplex tonight.  We were grazed with the edge of the severe thunderstorms while multiple tornados and funnel clouds have been reported in south and eastern areas mostly, with at least one supercell near Fort Worth. We only got hail, rain, winds and the like. Let's hope that is the worst.  Its already been a long night, and its not over yet. Most has passed but we aren't clear yet. Glad I took a nap earlier, as I expect I won't be sleeping tonight.

23 May, 2011

Slacker

So I completely spaced writing last night.  We had such a good day; and I was just so exhausted that it completely slipped my mind.  We rode the light rail train into downtown Dallas and checked out the Farmers Market.  Of course, my absent-minded self completely forgot to get cash before we went.  But it was really great and the prices were AWESOME! Best deals on produce I have ever seen!  Las Vegas farmers markets are a JOKE - in size, product, and pricing!  Who knew what I was really missing! We will be definitely frequenting the farmers market and/or maybe some of the farms themselves for many of the food items we need. 

We are actually getting ourselves ready this morning to head back there to actually purchase some of the great fruits and vegetables we found there.  I am very excited!  Hopefully we will return today with lots of goodies.

21 May, 2011

Into the Groove

I think I'm getting our daily routine down finally. Bed time is starting to get a bit better with the boys. Well even the last two days have been better. Its almost been three weeks since we got here, and not a lot has been done around the house.  We'll get on that eventually. 

I know I am only a few days into my 101 goals, but I can already sense that nagging little voice saying to just forget it. I do a lot to stiffle that. I am one of those people who start a lot of things but then loses the motivation to keep up with it. But at the same time, I never turn down a challenge.  So I am trying to look at this goal thing as a challenge to expand and better myself.  I really think the awesomeness is wearing off from my "high" on my birthday and reality is sinking in that I suck at sticking to things. I need to review my list again and find a good starting point to focus on. My brain is far too scattered, so one step at a time. Baby steps if need be. 

Looking forward to some exploring tomorrow.  Hope to come home with some yummy goodies from the Farmers Market as well. I look forward to being in the city and learning more about our new home.

20 May, 2011

Making connections

Today has been a good day.

I feel much more connected today.  In many ways.  I got to talk on the phone - - not texting, actual human talking to human - - for almost two hours with a good friend.  It was so nice to have that type of connection and conversation with someone.  Its been awhile since I've talked on the phone that long with anyone, besides my mom (which I love those conversations too!).

And then tonight I got to have a "chat night" with my oh-so-missed VegasMommies.  It was great being able to still be involved with chatting with them.  I miss my mommies so much!  I really need to get involved with the group here in Dallas once we are able for me to do so.  I didn't realize how much a part of me that site was, until now that I just don't have the events and playdates to go to all the time.

Lastly, I got to do a bit of reminiscing with an old friend as well.  That always makes me happy.

All of this put together, and it made me feel okay about everything.  And then the weather has been gorgeous. I love thunderstorms, and so far here they are beautiful to watch! I wish I had a porch swing to just take it all in.

I just am thankful that today was the best of the week.  Sad it took all week to get here, but so glad that at least there was a good day somewhere in there.

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.  ~Voltaire

19 May, 2011

Mobility

So I am posting from my phone now. Or at least testing the mobile app for now. 

Now I can blog whereever I go. Although I am not so sure that is a good thing. I miss the days of disconnecting from technology. I love turning my phone off sometimes just so that I am a bit unreachable. I like vacations away from computers and television.  I miss real human connection.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my share of conveniences. I love that modern technology has made it so much easier for people to stay in touch. 
And obviously I am taking advantage of blogging. I guess I just wish people still dropped by to see if you are home or still sent written letters. Serve years ago doesn't seem that long ago, but a lot sure has changed since I graduated college. In many away I never would have imagined.

testing

Back at it...

I didn't blog yesterday.

Really it is probably for the better.  It was a bad, chaotic day.  And then just as it was getting better (thank you Dairy Queen), emotions were stirred.  I am passionate about a few things in life.  Family. Friends. Theatre. Artistic expression.  And children.  Twice yesterday I got stirred up a bit. The children in my life mean more to me than almost life itself.  Not just my own children, but also my nephews, nieces, cousins, and pseudo-nieces and pseudo-nephews.  Twice yesterday I felt the need to stand up and defend these children...including my own son.  I get VERY passionate about children and their equality in our society.  As cheesy and cliché as it sounds, children are the future of this world.  We should always make sure they are heard, always shown how important they are, how much they are loved and cherished in this world. I think children get the short end of the stick the most in our country.  We have forgotten how their innocence makes them that much more amazing and precious. We have forgotten long ago practices and teachings (of many diverse faiths and cultures) that revere children as an important part of society.  Experiencing the world through my sons' eyes has been one of the greatest gifts I could ever receive.  I have faith that our children, and their children, can make a difference in this world, if just given the chance to be heard. They matter. Their feelings are valid and just as important as the next person. We strive for equality among ourselves, and yet children are still slighted the most.

Okay, off my soapbox now...

Through this I think I have realized that I need to be doing something more important, more needed.  While I do not feel like I need to run out and get a Sociology degree, I do feel I should be looking into child advocacy type volunteering or something that would help me put this passion to use. I need to channel my energy into something worthwhile.

........

On another note, and totally off the above topics (see I told you - - ramblings of my mind)...

Today is a much better day thus far. The boys are in a better mood. I am in a better mood.  I am making some progress on organization around here.  And I am looking at planning out our weekend. I would like to check out the Dallas Farmers Market. From what I can tell, it is the best in the area and really has a lot to offer.  I am a bit excited to ride the light rail train into downtown.  Of all my years of visiting family in Sacramento, I have never ridden (is that proper grammer? lol) the light rail train up there.  I feel a bit like a kid with how excited I am to use the public transit here.  I like the idea that while we are without a car, we get to expose the kids to the public transit system in an area that public transit is far superior to that of Las Vegas.  I am also excited to see if we can come home with some non-processed, fresh, "real" food for our family.  Ideally, I would love to find a dairy farm around here to buy our milk, cheese, etc from.  Or even a farm for most of our foods including fresh farm eggs and our meats.  Maybe eventually.  Right now, I just am looking forward to the weekend. And apparently as the week always goes, that is just a few days away.

18 May, 2011

One of those days

It has just been a rough day from the start.  I almost didn't even want to blog today.  But what better way to vent and get it out is there than writing (or typing) it all out. 

The boys have

17 May, 2011

And the Oscar goes to...

One of my goals is to watch all of the Academy Award Best Picture winners.  Yes, even Rocky (*shudder*).  I have seen many of these films, but for the sake of my goal, I will be re-watching as well.  Plenty of these movies, i.e. Rocky, I have sworn to either not watch or just plain have not enjoyed.  But this is all about changing, opening up and doing things that I may not normally do.  I love film, film history, and all that surrounds it.  So this is an experiment in expanding my knowledge of great (or not-so-great) films.

Here is the list of what I will be trying to get my hands on over the next 1001 days (or hopefully sooner):


Wish me luck.

16 May, 2011

29 - The Beginning

Language. Communication. The art of relating to one another through the spoken and written word.  I love language and the study of languages.  Anyone who has met me knows I love to communicate. And therefore, I thought it quite appropriate to use the words of the wonderful Virginia Woolf for the title of my blog.  So here it goes.

Goals. Changes. Beginnings.  That's really what this is all about.  I am starting a blog for many reasons, including the start of my Day Zero Project 101 goals in 1001 days.  Today is also my 29th birthday - -the beginning of the end of my 20s, the beginning of a whole new year of possibilities, the start of goals and changes that I hope to accomplish in the coming 1001 days.  I hope to use the blog as an outlet for the ramblings of my mind, but also as a way to stay connected with friends and family through updates.

Two weeks ago, our family moved from Las Vegas to the Dallas area.  It was both an unexpected and quick move.  While we have wanted to move out of Las Vegas, it has been hard on everyone as we basically only had 6 weeks from the time we learned of the move to our actual move date.  AJ's company had decided to close the office in Vegas, and he was offered a position within the company at the Dallas office.  Its still very hard to believe that we live here.  The area is beautiful and it has been nice exploring the surrounding cities.  I hope as time goes on, it begins to feel more and more like home.  I think we are still recovering from the shock of it all.  Easier with time. That is what I keep telling myself.  And its not that I am not enjoying myself here.  Truly, I have had a great time seeing new things.  But its just not all real for me yet.  For now, we are adjusting, settling, and getting to know our new home.

I hope that I can keep up to date with blogging.  I hope I can communicate my inner thoughts all the while keeping loved ones "in the loop."  I plan to use this tool to help myself, but at the same time it serves as a window in our new beginning in a new place.  Welcome to the journey and thanks for joining me!

For now, I think I will end with this beautiful line from my favorite movie, Dead Poets Society:
 "No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world"  - John Keating (Robin Williams)